I'm Still Here
by Athena Writer 24601
Summary: She tried to be joyful, she really did, but sometimes you can't do these things alone. A series of one-shots, set post Mockingjay pre-epilogue. Different times when Katniss tried to lose hope but Peeta wouldn't let her.
1. Chapter 1

**So, this is a story idea I got. It's a bunch of one-shots, titled with a simple word, telling about Katniss and Peeta after Mockingjay, pre-epilogue. It may be cheesy at points, I'm sorry, but I do hope you like it. I will try and update soon. Please check out my other stories even if you don't like this one. Maybe you'll find one you like. It's mostly just Hunger Games and Percy Jackson stories though. Oh, and one Les Miserables story. I'm soooo excited for the Les Mis movie to come out in December! Go see it, you guys! **

**Thanks! Oh, and I don't own the HG. **

**Love, Anna**

**PS PLEASE REVIEW! I BEG YOU WITH CHERRIES ON TOP! **

I'm Still Here

Chapter One: Home

It's rough for both of them, being home after everything that's happened. She shuts herself up in her house, while he paints and bakes and remains social and friendly.

Peeta arrives home after her, so he isn't sure how Katniss is doing until one day she comes running out of her house as he's planting the primroses. He's missed her so much that it's all he can do not to jump up and hug her, kiss her. But he knows she wouldn't appreciate that, not now.

She goes back inside and he hears her light feet running up the stairs, and then a crash that resonates through the house. He wants to go check on her, but he also knows that she doesn't want to be checked on, not by him.

Peeta isn't sure if she still loves him or not. He knows he loves her. Even that morning when she was unkempt and unrested and unfed looking, she was still beautiful to him.

Katniss wants to keep her distance for the time being. It's not that she hates Peeta; she's just afraid to mess things up again. She doesn't want to say something that will send him over the edge of reality and insanity, make him turn into the evil-mutt version of himself and try to choke her. She really wouldn't blame him if he did. She wouldn't have to keep on living, which to her seemed a wasted effort. Why should she go on surviving after everything she'd seen and done? Why should she live when so many others, Prim and Finnick and Rue, are all dead? She can see their sneering faces, taunting her.

"We didn't deserve to die," they mock her. "We had good lives, we were better than you ever will be."

So that's why, one night when she can't stand all those haunting voices anymore, Peeta comes over to check on her and finds her sitting on the kitchen floor, covered with blood and holding a knife in her hand.

He panics, pulling the knife out of her hands and looking into her dazed, distanced eyes to ask if she's okay.

"Oh, God, Katniss," he mutters, tears running down his face as he rips cloth from his shirt and presses it to the slits on her wrists. "Why would you do this?"

She's crying now, too. "I didn't want to live anymore. I don't deserve it, do I, Peeta?"

He wraps his arms around her, not caring about the blood from her wrists that's soaking his sleeves. "You do deserve to live, Katniss. I need you to live."

"But why?" she sobs. "That's not true?"

"It is," he says. "I need you. I don't know what I'd do without you, Katniss. I love you."

She looks up at him, and he stares back into her fragile eyes, wishing she could understand how lifeless he'd be if she were truly gone. Life would have no meaning to him without Katniss in it.

"You're so beautiful," he whispers, and he truly means it, though he's sure she doesn't believe him. That's what makes him sad, that she can't see that.

He kisses her gently, then goes to get the medical kit to patch her up.

"Don't ever do that again, Katniss," he pleads. "Don't scare me like that."

She nods vacantly as he starts stitching her wrists. He knows she won't try anything like that again anytime soon.

But when she does, he'll be there to keep her alive.


	2. Chapter 2

**YAY! Yippedy doo da, it's chapter two! I hope you all enjoy and please review! Next chapter will be up today or tomorrow if I get lots of reviews! **

**Love, Anna :D**

I'm Still Here

Chapter Two: Broken

Katniss doesn't like to have to handle the guilt. It's Prim's birthday today, and she would have been fourteen but now she won't, never will be, because she's dead. And it's Katniss' fault, she feels.

She wants to try and forget everything. She wonders how Haymitch does it. Does getting drunk out of your mind really help you escape the pain?

So Katniss heads over to his house, where he's happy to share some bottles with her. She drinks until she's dizzy and almost passed out, and then she doesn't really remember that it's Prim's birthday. But she's not happy, either.

Peeta always checks on her every night, ever since the incident when she tried to take her life. He usually brings bread, too, to make sure she's eating, because if no one makes her eat then she won't.

On this particular night he comes earlier than usual, as he knows it's Prim's birthday and she'll be upset. He calls her name but she doesn't answer, and that's when he starts to get worried. He searches her house, and can't find her.

He rushes to Haymitch's house to find them both insanely drunk.

"Oh, Katniss," he says softly, sitting next to her. Haymitch is passed out on the floor.

And she starts to cry as she remembers why she got drunk in the first place. "She would have been fourteen," she sobs as he holds her, rocking her back and forth. "But she isn't ever going to be, now, because she's dead and I killed her."

"No, you didn't," he tells her gently. "Those bombs did."

"But I could've saved her! And I didn't!" she says, pressing her hands to her temples from the massive headache the alcohol was giving her. Her system isn't used to that much liquor. Only Haymitch can put up with that.

She slumps unconscious in Peeta's arms and he carefully sets her on the ground before walking over to Haymitch's limp form and kicking him, enraged.

Haymitch grumbles awake, and Peeta punches him flat onto the floor. "What the hell is wrong with you?" he shouts. "Why would you let her have that much alcohol?"

Haymitch mutters something incomprehensible, and so Peeta gathers Katniss and carries her back to her house. He leaves a glass of water by her bedside, because she'll need it when she wakes up. Then he goes downstairs and crashes on her couch, knowing she probably won't mind and that she may need him during the night.

When she wakes up, she runs to the bathroom to throw up the liquor that has so obviously disagreed with her. She sits on her bed and cries quietly, trying not to let Peeta hear.

He does, of course, and soon she's gathered in his strong arms.

"I'm sorry, Peeta," she whispers.

"Don't be," he says, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. "I don't blame you. We all have different ways of dealing with pain."

She looks up at him, not understanding why he's so merciful, why he's always there for her. "Why, Peeta?" she asks quietly.

"What?" he says, startled.

"I'm so broken. Broken beyond repair. You can't fix me. So why are you trying?"

He allows himself a small smile as he kisses her forehead, wrapping her tighter in his embrace.

"Because I know one day I'll succeed."


End file.
